Recently I’ve been in creation mode in my coaching practice. I am working on bringing something to the world that has not yet existed. Based on the work that I do one-on-one with coaching clients and the work that I did last year in Michael Neill’s Supercoach Academy, I was inspired to create a group for entrepreneurial leaders; a playground of sorts where they would experience support, deep learning, camaraderie and just plain fun in creating what they want in their businesses and their lives from a place of profound security, connectedness and “ok-ness.”
What I’m finding is that it is one thing to work with powerful, accomplished people one-on- one, but in moments, it feels like a whole ‘nother thing to say “Hey…you…follow me.I’m running the show.” At times it feels like creating this group is impossible.
So what makes up the difference between feeling completely capable in one area and at times feeling unsure in another?
What I’ve seen is quite simple. The key is my relationship to my own thinking.
As I’ve had meetings with potential members of my group, I have noticed that my thinking changes drastically moment to moment. When I say drastically I mean in one minute I’m thinking I’m brilliant, my group will fill up in no time and that I’ll be fending people off with sticks. In others I seriously question myself thinking “What the &$%^ are you doing??? You actually think this is going to happen?” Now, if I related to all of the thinking as true, I would be bouncing off of the walls one moment and laying in the gutter the next.
But my experience has been really stable. Like *really* stable. I’ve stayed calm in the storms and cool as a cucumber when it seems I should be celebrating.
What I’ve seen is that my thinking changes dramatically. And that dramatic change used to send me on a roller coaster ride. It used to have me bail out of an inspired idea the second I thought an insecure thought. What I’ve seen is that thought is just thought. I can think pretty much anything. A-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. And that when I let particularly negative, non-motivating thought just settle, let it be, it just passes. I’ve learned that those thoughts are not there to inform me what to do next, they are just there. They exist. Then they pass.
What I’ve gotten a glimpse of is that I’m capable of attempting anything. And win, lose or draw, I’m ok.